my future's so bright, i gotta wear shades

so i visited the depressing long term care part of the hospital again today. and i found myself in forty years.

nurse to future me: do you know what day it is? is it the 27th?
future me: i have no idea. but i know it's time for bingo.

we don't care about the young folks

i wish real life didn't suck so much.

but i guess it's good to stop and think that some people's realities suck more than mine.

and speaking of sucking, i know that i never want to live in an old folk's home.

especially one where some lady sits in a corner playing a shitty version of 'side by side' on the piano while singing along in a wobbly falsetto.

i think i'm going to make some kind of stipulation in my will that says no matter how incapacitated i may be, i will never find crappy versions of shitty songs entertaining...and thus i must be placed in a home where the entertainment consists of actual entertainment. none of this weird activity crap like sing alongs and bingo. wait. bingo is fun.

ANYWAYS, this brings me to a thought i often ponder...will 'oldies' when i get old be still classified as music from the 60's? or will the oldies stations be taken over by bands such as gnarles barkley and the killers?

i think that would be entertaining - some lady sitting in a corner playing a shitty version of 'somebody told me' on the piano while singing along in a wobbly falsetto.

man, getting older sucks.

oceans won't freeze so losen your heart

today at starbucks i experienced sensory overload.

the first being olifactory, where i happened to be unfortunately exposed to the most pungent, putrid and pterrifying* smell ever. i decided that before picking up my grande non-fat earl grey vanilla tea misto (say that three times fast) i should use the facilities. bad choice, as the world's ugliest baby with the world's smelliest baby shit happened to wander in after me and proceed to be changed. trying not to gag and quickly wash one's hands is a true test in personal hygiene. how badly do you want to have clean hands versus how badly do you want to breathe clean air? i opted for an equal balance of both, cheaped out on the drying stage and got the heck out of there on the verge of throwing up lunch.

my visual experience happened to be much more enjoyable. the cutest boy ever was a few people ahead of me in line ordering a coffee...and carrying a book! i wanted to marry him. not only was he cute - but he was at starbucks by himself with a book! i secretly cursed myself under my breath for not having brought a book with me in case of emergency. but i won't make that mistake again. i didn't care that i had an agenda to run some errands - i would have plunked myself down and read my book...aka pretended to read my book and stared at the cute boy. i won't be so underprepared next time.

and then, my london fog was yummy.

that's all.

*i just wanted some alliteration on a rainy saturday afternoon...cut a girl some slack.

don't wanna fight, don't wanna die

thank goodness i'm not a true hypochondriac. over the course of the past five years - going through school, and then finally becoming a health care professional - i have self diagnosed myself with pretty much every disease imaginable. studying disease states pretty much makes you crazy.

in my expert opinion, i have either suffered from, or am currently suffering from any one of the following (so take your pick):

mrsa pneumonia
hyperthyroidism
hypothyroidism
a.d.d.
colon cancer
acute renal failure
osteoarthritis
cystic fibrosis
angina
multiple sclerosis
inflammatory bowel disease
jaundice
anemia
bipolar disorder
parkinson's
absence seizures
bowel obstruction
schizophrenia
hypertension

i'm sure there were more. but since i have alzheimer's, i can't remember.

i'd stand back if i were you. i might be contagious.

oh my little mockingbird sing

woot woot!

i just bought new bedding. on sale.

it's described on the package as 'asian/fusion'....however i don't get the asian part. or the fusion part. to me, it looks more like 'light green with embroidered flowers'. but whatever lynda reeves says must be right.

i remember when lynda reeves used to have this show on ctv called 'house and home'. i used to eat that crap up. i've always been interested in the whole home decorating thing, long before 'trading spaces' became popular.

speaking of trading spaces, my parents bought some 'decorative plates' and have put them up back home. i told them that when i come visit, i'm going to rip them down. decorative plates are about as cool as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. i mean come on - you don't want to give the impression that you've furnished your house with mail orders from a 1986 edition of readers digest.

words you'll never hear me utter: "i love what you've done with your decorative plates".

that is, unless i've just seen you smash them on the floor and throw them out.

who knew i had all this hidden rage for tacky decor?

i also have hidden rage for rod stewart, starbucks when there is no seating, shops closed on sundays, dina lohan, watermelon gum, getting offered an hbc rewards card every time i buy something at the bay, and tardiness.

when you cut the lights out think of me

it has been decided.

i can't live my life in this town. in the past 24 hours, there have been several signs which have pointed me in the direction of leaving asap.

although not entirely inclusive, here is a list of a few things this town is full of which makes me very reluctant to spend any more time here than i have to:

1. ugly babies. seriously. usually ugly babies are just cuter because they're ugly. but, i have been proven wrong on several accounts by bearing witness to unfortunate babies that are just plain ugly. when the parents see me checking out said ugly babies i try my best to use my poker face and either show no emotion, or writhe my face into a taught smile and pretend i didn't just vomit in my mouth a little.

2. skipper's doppleganger. miranda didn't like skipper. i don't like skipper. i don't want to be surprised by skipper while shopping at wal-mart.

3. gross people wearing windpants at the movie store. fine, i get that you want to go out in public wearing your 'after work' clothes. that's cool. i like sweatpants too. sometimes, if i'm wearing my sweatpants and need to run to 7-11, i'll do it. we all do it. but windpants? those should be strictly limited to events such as spring cleaning, painting, and 1991. but purple windpants? those should be burned, along with the late 80's perm and bad taste in movies. but i guess if people in purple windpants don't rent 'flushed away', who will?

keep the car running

my new goal is to only title my posts with lyrics from songs. i've been doing it for almost 26 of the last 30ish posts...and here i'm sure you all just thought i was weird. which i am. but i'm just using someone else's weirdness to express my own.

ANYWAYS.

it's the time of year where i'm getting the car buying itch. and i think this is actually going to be the year where i do something about it. i've been salivating over the thought of a nice, shiny, new vw gti for a year. i think this years tax return will be enough for a downpayment on a car, license and insurance...and maybe a slurpee.

mmm, slurpee.

i think i'm going to get dressed (which is definitely a good idea), go get a slurpee (which is pretty much always a good idea), go browse my local purse shop (which is never a good idea), and then go to the car dealership (which is a fun idea).

do you know what word i can never spell? license. i always want to spell it liscense. or liscence. or lisence. i never get that frigging word right. like recipe. i always have to think about that one too. you'd think that at 24 years of age, one would have mastered the art of such simple words. i mean, i can spell words like 'osteoporosis', 'oxaliplatin', or 'kysabigfatfarthead'. but ask me to spell license? i'm at a loss for words. or letters.

i'd like to buy a consonant, pat.

i'd also like to buy some motivation. my house has been a wreck for like three weeks. maybe the fact that lynnie c is coming to visit next week will get my gears in motion. OR, maybe i'll just shovel a path to major areas of the house so she can find her way around. fridge, couch, bathroom. and maybe i'll buy some floor lighting - so like in an airplane, it will illuminate in case of an emergency so she can find her way out.

i really want that slurpee.

t minus 6 days to lynnie's arrival.
t minus 27 days to easter in calgary.
t minus 49 days to ottawa.
t minus 51 days to nyc.
t minus 72 days to may long in vancouver.

but who's counting?

working for the church while your life falls apart

today's the day!

well, actually yesterday was the day. (but i'm not bitter.)

anyways, my copy of neon bible seems to have eventually made its way into my hot little hands, and i couldn't be happier.

spring is in the air, and i have a new arcade fire album to obsess over. i'm pretty sure that win butler could record himself shitting into a shoebox, call it his second album and all of us indie loving kids would still gobble it up. however, it seems that the second effort from my (newly crowned) favourite band of all time is a strong effort. and even though i don't generally give a flying rats hoo-hoo what p4k has to say, they gave the disc a solid 8.4.

in other news, i love the arcade fire.

wait - that's not news! but i do.

never my love

today is a significantly better day that yesterday. the sun is shining, and it actually looks like winter might be on it's way out. and spring just happens to be my most favourite time of year.

i love driving down the street on a lazy saturday afternoon such as today, splashing through puddles of melting snow, and walking around with just a light jacket. i find music always sounds better on days like this. today, the best song blasting through my stereo was 'y control' by the yeah yeah yeahs. it all just makes me so happy.

and i've had the best phone conversations today. sometimes i could just talk for hours on the phone. i think spring is definitely in the air. it makes me so happy.

things that also make me happy, in no particular order, are:

- pete yorn's 'westerns' ep (bought at his show in vancouver feb 8th)
- my marc by marc jacobs bag (happy february to me!)
- sharpie markers
- pictures of friends
- $8 wal-mart shirts

now, whilst i'm still in a good mood, i'm going to go clean and listen to some music. i think today is a most excellent day to be a lover/fighter.