don't wanna fight, don't wanna die

thank goodness i'm not a true hypochondriac. over the course of the past five years - going through school, and then finally becoming a health care professional - i have self diagnosed myself with pretty much every disease imaginable. studying disease states pretty much makes you crazy.

in my expert opinion, i have either suffered from, or am currently suffering from any one of the following (so take your pick):

mrsa pneumonia
hyperthyroidism
hypothyroidism
a.d.d.
colon cancer
acute renal failure
osteoarthritis
cystic fibrosis
angina
multiple sclerosis
inflammatory bowel disease
jaundice
anemia
bipolar disorder
parkinson's
absence seizures
bowel obstruction
schizophrenia
hypertension

i'm sure there were more. but since i have alzheimer's, i can't remember.

i'd stand back if i were you. i might be contagious.