stankonia

i need some flava-flav in my life. i have found a routine of going to school and not much else. i really need to find something new and exciting, and perhaps get out of the house some more.

possible new activities:
1) prostitution. i get to meet new people, and earn some cash on the side.
2) knitting. won't get me out of the house, but i will have fashionable new outfits for when i do leave.
3) groupie. i'm with the band. need i say more.
4) mexican farmer. i don't really want to farm, but being mexican would be cool.
5) professional arm wrestler. i could finally tone those arms.
6) speed dating. i don't want the dates, i just want the speed.
7) list maker. i'm already doing that. my life is awesome.

i shall implement the changes effective immediately. either that, or i'll go study. whateva.

wtf - rhett, you let us down.

i'm half cut. after an unsuccessful attempt to find mary jane, my roommate and i gave up and went to an offsale and bought a mickey of rye and some slurpees. chalk another sex and the city night up on the board.

the new spin mag is out, and i am totally stoked. not only is my pseudo boyfriend brandon flowers on the cover, but there is a mega section about canada in it. yay, canucks! and they even talk about sam roberts, my other pseudo boyfriend. at least i've met sam. hell, i was in the boy's van. but that's another story, for another time.

i'm going to go sleep now. and dream about boys, my favorite.

something fishy

i went for sushi last night. the vegetarian kind. it was dang good.

we sat at the table until 10:15. the restaurant closed at 9:30. who knew? who shuts a restaurant down at 9:30 on a friday night? stupid. although, i apologize to the people who had to stick around. they should have told us they were closed, we would have pissed off sooner.

then i came home, made cookies and watched three episodes of sex and the city. it was awesome.

i also managed to break in my new pointy boots. without, might i add, breaking my face. i parked literally right infront of the door to the restaurant, and i think it took me like 5 minutes to get inside. hey, it was icy. don't be a hater.

they opened this new 'megasaurus walm-mart' or whatever they call those mondo huge wal-marts here in town last week. i think i'm going to go over there tomorrow and check it out. i forecast a huge pain in the ass, and a bad mood for the rest of the afternoon, with periods of elbowing strangers. but it should be interesting.

i wish i could marry songs. i'm so in love with the new blink 182 song. i really like the new lindsay lohan song too. but i don't want to marry it. and don't judge me. your favorite band sucks.

what the fetch

i biffed on the way into school today. one second i was walking along, the next i was on the ground like i had slid into home base. it was really quite a comfortable fall - very easy and painless. my ego was a bit bruised, but i had the four witnesses killed, so i will no longer be bothered about the situation. okay, i didn't have the witnesses killed. i brushed off my ass and kept walking.

nothing else interesting happened today. the extent of my exciting-ness was me falling on my ass. i think that shall be entertainment enough for the masses for one day. oh, and the satellite on the way to school was activated and most likely fried my ovaries.

poo on studying and school. i'm going to eat pancakes on its grave.

i've found a loophole

oh pete, my sweet love

i appears i have found a whole new way to waste time. i can now post pictures on here. booyeah. expected grade projection for the coming semester: grim.

*ring, ring*
mom, dad, i'm failing out of college.
please send money so i can come live at home.
i plan on not working, so you will have to support my sedintary lifestyle of fast food and movies.
get used to it.

captain underpants and the world of tomorrow

two blogs in one day. that must mean i have an exam coming up. all signs point to yes.

i love my mommy. she just phoned me from downtown vancouver trying to find out what kind of facial moisturizer i wanted because she's standing outside of kiehls. i love that. she's crazy, but i love her.

oh, and the reason i started this is to show how much i love to not do work. i organized my underoos drawer today. now it's all neat and pretty.

i'm no longer passive agressive. i'm strangely giddy. perhaps because i'm going to take the night off - eat, drink and be merry. either that, or i have some hormonal imbalance.

wait, they don't love you like i love you

what the hell took me so damn long. i think i was rebelling against the fact that everyone and their sister's dog seemed to love this song last year. but now i love maps. the yeah yeah yeah's were one of last year's indie-band-to-make-it-big-so-now-they're-not-indie bands. i hate those bands. i hate that they get played when i'm walking around the mall. i hate that they get invited to play on mtv. good music shouldn't be shared with the masses, it should be selectively released to the people who actually give a shit. anyways, i effing love this song, a year later.

i also love interpol. and i was thinking the other day, as that cd was playing in my car for like the zillionth time, about how i always write about interpol. you know what? it's because they're awesome, and if i want to say that every day, i will. yesssh.

this weekend was awesome. i haven't really done any homework. but who the hell cares about that. i'm totally in this passive agressive mood. so i'll make a list of things because i damn well feel like it. also, this is my blog and you will read every damn word i have to say.

#1 - amount of time it took me to find the # key on my keyboard: roughly 20 seconds. i think it moved.
#2 - cd in my cd player rightthissecond - 'odelay' by beck. i wish i had two turntables and a microphone.
#3 - laundry done today: two loads. one white, one dark. although i threw blue underpants into the white load. rebel yell.
#4 - difference between real eggs and egg beaters: only the staff at denny's can really know.
#5 - number of rum butter lifesavers eaten today: 3. but i hate rum butter.
#6 - i ate an apple.
#7 - i really don't feel funny today...totally unrelated to the apple incident.

your stepmom has questionable taste

new teen girl squad. that's right: tee gee ess. i love that shiznit. lights out, guerilla radio, turn that shit up.

i got so full of procrastination today, i dusted off the dryer. or, drying machine as i like to call it. we call them washing machines, why don't we call driers drying machines? whatever. i make my own rules.

wave o' babies...

i'm the bitch you hated, filth infatuated

i heard awhile back that j.lo doesn't want people to call her j.lo anymore. too bad, J.LO, but i'm pretty sure that i'll call you whatever the hell i want. i mean, didn't you know that people aren't supposed to give themselves nicknames in the first place? you can't go doing that and then take it away. although prince did it. but he also has talent, parties like it's '99, and wears a raspberry beret...but at the same time, he's back at being prince, because people couldn't pronounce that damn symbol name he had going on.

interpol are on letterman tonight. my vagina is going to explode. i love it...and they're playing my 2nd favorite song of the record, evil. i can't wait...i'm hoping i won't be impossibly let down by their performance. you know, let down ashlee simpson style. i still haven't recovered from the snl thing...ashlee, i thought we were tight? how could you do this to me? that's it....i'll never watch your show again. who am i kidding? yes i will.

i had my itunes on shuffle the other day, and i keep discovering old songs. i love the prodigy. i think it's the dude's hair that was so amusing to me...although it scared the piss out of me. my old hairdresser once threatened to cut my hair like that. weird.

pill dickle

okay, so the dorritos dill pickle chips - although the sound of it seems sketchy, are very good. oddly enough, they look just like their cool ranch counterparts. only with green specks instead of blue. which leads me to ask - what is it about the colour blue makes it an okay colour to put on a cool ranch flavoured chip? now green specks i understand - pickles, if made properly, are green. maybe it's the 'cool' in the ranch. i sometimes may associate cool with blue. mostly however i associate it with brandon flowers.

okay, so brandon flowers - the killers were on snl last night, and i managed to see the end of 'somebody told me'. it seems to me that i want to hunt brandon down and spawn 50,000 of his love children. good god, the mormons sure do churn out the lookers. i really need to get hot fuss. like now. maybe as something original i'll put out my own album and call it fussing hot. that'd be my favorite.

and finally something completely different. a man with three buttox. well, not really. but i figured three paragraphs were better than two. after all, the only thing better than your crispy crunch - is someone else's.

so now travis thinks i'm crazy.

hello, my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father: prepare to die.

diamonds and guns

i suck at updating this thing. could it be i have actually had a life for the past few weeks? weird.

school's right back into the swing of things...not too long now until i stop bathing completely, eat only toast, cereal and take out, and get so crazy mad at school that i pluck all my eyebrows out. i can hardly wait. at least tegan and sara are coming in february. that, and spring break is literally right around the corner.

this week is full of quasi-school work, in that i'm still to lazy to actually do very much - but i'll think about doing alot of work. there is a pub crawl on friday, so one last huzzah before the real work starts next week. i plan on getting very drunk and making an ass of myself. it's been awhile since i've done that, and frankly i could use the publicity. well, not really - but it was fun to say that.

well, csi miami is almost on, i'm going to go make myself a cosmo and popcorn. ahh, the life of a procrastinating college student. i love it. boourns to the real world.

turn down the suck.

if it wasn't for the good souls, life would not matter

woah. just got back from the best effing christmas break ever. so good, i forgot to blog. well, i didn't forget, i just didn't. i was kickin' back, doing other things, like quoting napoleon dynamite, getting attacked by errant nitrous oxide hoses, and ruling the world at scrabble.

i don't know what made the past three weeks so awesome, but who cares. i hung out with my summer love, he gave me a bar mitsvah card on my birthday, we slept on the floor together, and he told me he'll miss me. i have decided that he's my favorite boy. who knows when i'll see him again...but things left off on a good note, and i'm okay with that.

i bought garden state like the second it came out. then i watched it, and love it even more than i did the first time. zach braff managed to sum up the emotions of the last three years of my life into a movie, and for that i'd punch him on the street if i met him. not a mean punch, a celebratory punch. he'd get it.

i still have christmas shopping left to do, but i'd rather stay out of the -45 degree weather, listening to interpol and making up lies. in the future, i'm going to pass a law that makes every city i live in dig tunnels from my house to various establishments so i don't have to go outside. on the list would be: mall, video store, school, bar, boyfriend's house, 7-11.

i'm gonna go watch the garden state dvd extras and think about pizza.