tomato stealer

i accidentally theived a tomato from the grocery store today. it was in the cart and my purse was covering it. both the roomie and i missed it, and then on the way out saw it sitting lonely in the cart outside the other bags. poor tomato, didn't get permission to leave the store.

poor me, i don't even want a stinky tomato. now my soul will rot, along with the rank vegetable.

routine again

so, back to school so to speak. five weeks of formal school stuff left, then it's exams, then it's real life. well, 'real life' anyways.

i returned home to a new cable tv subscription, therefore three months of free movies on demand, and as much fashion television as my little heart desires. so much for me trimming the tv down to only grey's anatomy and american idol. i'll have to leave the house to be productive. but what else is new.

i'm unpacked from my three months away, and now finishing my last load of laundry before bed. the last week was great - spent a great three days in montreal, where my friend L and i had a manservant, gilles (who was really named francois, and not our manservant at all), shopped until we literally dropped, and hob-nobbed with the montreal elite.

i have exciting things to say, but it's been a long day. and frankly, i'm tired and want to sleep. is it sickening that it's march, and i'm looking forward to december so i can go to california? argh. i've got to stop wishing my life away.

or i'll end up just like jenna rink from 13 going on 30. which, i just may have watched tonight. only for mark ruffalo, i swear. not because i secretly love that movie. oh, no. just strictly for mark ruffalo.

fancy schmancy

so, my neighbourhood has a supermarket. i was over there this morning to pick up some things so my mom can whip up a yummy veggie lasagna. i was on a mission for zucchini, and headed into the produce section. there is a wall of produce, with helpful headings over the veggies so one can simply read as they walk towards the goods and head in the right direction. dips, carrots, lettuce, etc. and where do you think zucchini is located? well, the 'fancy vegetables' section of course.

because the a&p is nothing but class, baby.

i heart the cbc

so, for as much crap as i gave my parents for making me listen to the cbc since i came into this world, the dang corporation has given me some things that i love. they were the first ones to air kenny vs spenny, which is now off the chain, fo' shizzle. and dnto is for the most part, the least sucky thing on radio one. and, radio three has a wicked podcast which makes me love canadian music.

and after work today i saw for the first time what is sure to be my new favourite seven minute show. the morgan waters show. i think it's because basically this guy is me, but in male form with a cooler haircut. plus, he interviewed ben mulroney and looked like he was pissing him off. especially when he asked if anyone was ever going to 'inward sing' on canadian idol, and continued to sing a horrible note while inhaling a deep breath. then ben said no, because it's hard to mic people inside their mouths.

project fugway

heidi, michael, et. al. must have had a major brain fart when they hailed chloe dao as the winner of project runway. give. me. a. break. daniel was the best of everything. and i only say that because i dislike santino. although even he was starting to grow on me like an undiagnosed std.

but chloe? wrong choice. her final runway was so not pretty. i can only hope that someone will scoop up daniel and give him all the love and money he deserves to put his designs out into the world. heck, even santino had some gorg. dresses workin' the runway during fashion week.

but my favourite part of p.r. is tim gunn. i want to kidnap him, and make him follow me around and comment on my daily activities. he would be my pet narrator. santino nearly made me shoot pudding out my nose with his dead-on tim impressions. my favourite story santino told was about tim and daniel's imaginary romance, and their trips to red lobster.

oooh, so much tv, so little time. le sigh.

tonight, in 1/2 an hour we shall see if my american idol predictions are true. if they are, everyone feel free to send me a j.lo booty full of dollars. chocolate dollars that is.

bus dropping

i take the bus. on several occasions, i have mentioned how much i loathe the bus. that sentiment still remains true, however this morning was a little more interesting. here is a tidbit which i overheard two 15 year olds exchange this morning:

girl: japan is not part of asia. i know this for a fact.
boy: yes, it is.
girl: no, it’s not
boy: yes, it is
girl: i’m in geography right now. it isn’t
boy: i took geography too. it is.
girl: don’t pick this argument with me. i’m going to win.
boy: japan is to asia like hawaii is to north america.
girl: what did you get in geography? i have like 100%
boy: I had high nineties. and you’re wrong
girl: i’m right. japan is NOT in asia.
boy: you are a stupid fart faced barf head who is dumber than shit*

*not actually said by boy, but thought by me.

the thing i love the most is the defiantly loud expression with which the girl was speaking. it was like she was trying to purposely show the whole bus how stupid she was. silly girl.

now, on to last night's american idol. i love ace. in fact, to cement the fact that we are indeed soul mates, we have the same watch. his is in boy version, and mine is in girls. it's a match made in imaginary delusional heaven.

and completely overlooking the fact that i want to punch gedeon in his disproportionate overly weird face, i'm going to move on to the fact that kevin covais makes my heart break. the kid is so cute. however, the large elephant in the room that nobody seems to be addressing is his thpeech impedement. he's cute, but not exactly american idol fare. my predictions for tonight? bye bye kevin, bobby brady, kinnik, and trailer.

i leave with one more thought. how on earth are they going to pull this off? this isn't going to end well. although i do draw some parallels between this and the sam roberts video for 'brother down'. so really, it's pretty much been done...and in like three minutes. hollywood: save your money. instead, turn this into a movie.

ever since i took sociology in first year university, weird sociological experiments randomly pop up in my mind. we learned about so many cases of children who had had the strangest (and cruelest) things done to them. but all of these cases around the world got me to thinking over the past few years about weird things that people could do to one another.

and on the way home on the bus, i was looking at this dog walking down the street. and i wondered to myself, how strange a dog must look to a person the first time that they see one. unfortunately, everybody sees their first dog so young, one can't possibly remember their reaction. but what if you were able to set up an experiment so that one person never saw a dog until they were like 20? as if that would be the weirdest thing ever. but then, you would have still seen other animals, so the effect may be lost. i just thought of that counter point right now. so really, my so-called experiment is shit. and i just wasted all of that writing to type out something that was retarded. because really - how realistic is it to devoid someone of all animals? there is only so much research funding in the world.

anyways. i fear for my poor children, and my future insights into strange experiments. (like, what if you grew up calling a refrigerator a sofa and vice versa? you'd go to your friends house and be like, "hey, will you get me a pop out of the sofa?" dude. that would be funny. again. my poor children)

and i don't feel like posting about the oscars. upon reflection, they were boring, predictable, and the only person who looked really surprisingly ugly was charlize. (helena bonham carter was to be expected...c'mon folks, stop acting so surprised)

now, american idol is on tonight, so i'm off to voodoo paula into not acting like such a floozy.

nothing rhymes with orange

today i had the most delicious orange. i'm sure it was the yummiest orange in the world to ever grow on an orange tree. i cannot speak for oranges that may have grown somewhere else, for example in outer space, in a test tube, or incognito.

but this orange. oooh, this orange. it was a tasty, juicy ball of fabul-orange-ocity. i am going to strive for the rest of my life to invent a time machine to take me back to this afternoon, just so i can eat that orange again. it was that good.

another fun thing today was the supply cupboard at work. i lost my last pen to a pen-nabbing co-worker, so i headed down to the most exciting space in the office. the supply cupboard. i opened it up to take two more pens, and gasped at the wonder that is fresh, overstocked office supplies. stacks and stacks of post-it notes, a rainbow of highlighters, pots of whiteout, boxes of pens! oh, the humanity! there is nothing i love more than going down to that lovely cupboard and staring at everything there is to choose from. perhaps tomorrow i shall 'misplace' my paper clips and head down for another sneek peek.

and finally, i have been dying to respond to one thing in particular. have you seen the trailer yet for aquamarine? well, it asks, "what would it be like to be best friends with a mermaid?". and, i must reply. here is a list of things i would do if i was best friends with a mermaid:

- start a mermaid activist/awareness group. surely, mermaids have rights in society, just like everyone else. first on the agenda would be to get mermaids accepted as normal individuals, and to have the 'no shoes' rule at restaurants and shops changed to exempt mermaids.
-get my mermaid best friend to introduce me to sebastien, so we can sing 'under the sea'.
-go to hawaii, where my mermaid best friend and i would swim - or mostly, where my mermaid best friend would pull me around while i relaxed and lay on a nice mat on the ocean.
-charge $25 bucks a pop to let people take pictures with my mermaid best friend...and use the proceeds to donate to charity. and by charity, i mean the 'buy amanda some shoes fund'