i'm old.

it's really weird, but lately i've been realizing how old i'm getting. i mean, i've never really felt old before. but over the past few months, it's like i've suddenly realized that i'm growing up. maybe it's as a result of graduating from university. or maybe it's because i'm actually getting older. it's like the whole concept has just finally hit me like a ton of bricks.

i'm sitting here in my own hotel room. on a business trip. which, is a new thing for me. it's weird to have a real job that sends you on trips for said real job. and one that gives you a corporate credit card to pay for expenses. wtf is up with that? since when did i morph into this person that can pass for someone responsible for things? i mean, i can't even handle cleaning my bathroom on a regular schedule! what makes the world think that i actually have an intelligent opinion to express?

it's even weirder that i'm sitting here listening to the flaming lips and reading a book by chuck klosterman called 'killing yourself to live' (that is totally hilarious so far).

i mean, if i look at my life five years ago, i'd be more likely to be sitting around listening to n*sync and reading archie comics.

it's like i've graduated to real music. and real books. and with that, has come real life.

and real life sucks. i went to buy a new pair of sneakers yesterday, and it was like the store was being run by 9 year olds. when did it get to the point where i think, "how does this store function without an adult present?"

the whole situation is too depressing to think about.