samedi is the new saturday

i spent tonight at home. what a loser, studying on a friday night. well, more like watching the 'what not to wear' marathon on tlc. god, do i love clinton kelley. even when he wears those crazy pink polka-dot shirts. oh clinton, you crazy fashion guru. little do we all know you're leading us astray. i have a feeling this show is all part of some bigger plan to turn americans into really bad dressers, then make the entire country one big reality tv show hosted by sporty spice. really, what has sporty spice done lately? nothing. that just proves she's getting ready for her big role as the host of the worlds' largest reality tv show. unfortunately, the show will not last long due to low ratings. i mean, everyone is busy being on the show, they don't have time to watch it.

so after i write the stupid saturday morning test, i'm heading out on the open road back home. i'm ready for birthday cake and relaxation. i might even get in some shopping if i play my cards right. if i play my cards even more strategically, i might end up married to some mexian guido by the end of the weekend that will make me guacamole and prance around my apartment in pink spandex booty shorts. kind of like mango, but with less chest hair. i'm feeling lucky.

so to all of you poor sods who read this...tell your friends. maybe i can up my viewership to three people by the end of the year.