bladder cats

okay, so not that i don't already hate cats enough, but i seem to have met my cat arch-rival. not even a joke, this cat is nuts and i fear for my life. i was literally sleeping with one eye open, waiting for it to gouge at my eyes with its sharp talons. and yes, the cat does have sharp talons. screw the chickens.

okay, so this all started about 22 hours ago when i get a booty-call (with no booty, might i add...only a booty-call because of the time frame) from summer crush. i had just returned home, and sent him an email seeing if he wanted to hang out the next night. two minutes after pushing send the phone rings - it's 12am, so i make a mad dash, and i hear his voice on the other end. long story short, i end up going to his place to watch movies. so after drinking a huge coffee to stay awake, i finally fall asleep on the couch at like 4:45. i've been peeing at 30 minute intervals up to this point due the coffee and water i've been pounding back, so it's no surprise that i wake up having to pee. this urgency to pee is only compounded by the fact that psycho-cat has just landed on my bladder and is walking in circles trying to get comfortable.

so i'm lying there with this cat on my extremely full bladder, trying not to move for fear that it will bite my face off. and that is not how i imagined leaving this world - the last thing i want is for people to say 'cat's ate her face' a la malcolm in the middle. so this cat is staring me down now, daring me to move. it's got this smug look on its face like it knows i have to pee and it knows i'm not going to do anything about it. so i'm lying there praying that this stupid thing will get the mind signals i'm sending it to move the heck off of me. this goes on for about ten minutes, until finally the cat jumps off because summer crush walked out into the living room. wearing nothing but his boxers, might i add. he was my night in shining boxers. but not shining, striped. anyways, i was so out of it from lack of sleep and the urge to pee that i dragged my arse off the couch, brushed my teeth and drove home at 6:30 in the morning. i would have stayed longer, but i was afraid to fall back asleep around that freaking cat.